Sweet and Sour Summer

Summer, we love all things summer time. The sun, the heat, the freedom, the vacations, the outdoors, you name it, we love it. This summer, however, has looked different then our summers in the past. It’s been so sweet and so sour all at the same time.

This summer started out a little different than every summer in the past. We welcomed our little girl into the world in April, which has been nothing short of a beautiful blessing. But just like everything in this life, there are adjustments, there is chaos, and there is change. Alan has done a really good job becoming a big brother again for the third time. We have seen growth, we have seen patience, and we have seen the most pure form of love, even though it might be fleeting it is still there. My husband and I decided this summer we would forgo our annual family vacation, and start toilet training Alan. With a newborn not sleeping and the stressors of working on toilet training, it just was not in the cards for us. Now in the middle of July, I feel like we made a mistake. The annual summer vacation we usually take is always filled with ups and downs and unknowns bringing Alley anywhere new. But in the end, the vacations always bring out a different side of our boy that we didn’t know existed. So we are not seeing that this summer and it definitely has bummed me out.

As proud of him as I am for the strides he has made in toilet training, I feel like we have relied a lot on technology for his entertainment. Just like anything with Alan, when he has too much of some thing, it usually turns into negative behaviors. We are starting to see that more and more as we get further into the summer. This is definitely beginning to be the sour part of our sweet summer. I feel like I have a long road ahead of me now to undo what we have done in the first part, but it’s up to us to fix it, and we will. We have spent a lot of time focused on the baby, toilet training, baseball and just surviving up until now and Alley was doing great so we let him slide on a lot, but we are paying for it now.

On the other hand, all of this time at home with toilet training and the newborn, we have been able to develop our relationships a little bit more, which has been beautiful to watch at times. The boys, especially Vinny and Alan have made strides in their relationship on their own. I think with Vinny getting older he is able to see when Mom needs help with Alley , or when Alley is struggling on his own, Vinny is now stepping in. I still think Joey is too young and too little to really get involved when things are going south. But we are leaning into this newfound relationship and trying to facilitate any interaction, good or bad with Vinny and Alan, that is possible. He trusts Vinny and he doesn’t trust many people. So again, we are hopeful to see some more of the sweet parts of summer break going into the end of it. Hopeful, we are always hopeful. One day at a time, one relationship at a time, one breath at time. It’s all we can do to give him everything we can.

With Grace,

This Autism Mama