More Life

I want to preface this by saying, I know every single child is different and on their own path. What works for one in the Autsim world might not (and most likely) will not work for another. That's what makes them unique and the spectrum so big and ever changing. Alan has been blessed with the classroom he is in this year. From the teacher, to the paraprofessionals to the support staff of therapists that come in and out of their room, he truly is where he belongs. However I didn't always feel this way.

This school year is his second year in this particular classroom. He is fortunate enough to have the same staff he had last year which made for an easier transition at the begining of school for him. In this particular classroom they not only focus on academics but they also put life skills at the forefront. Now, I do believe academics are extremly important. He is very bright, he understands every single thing at a rapid rate, almost too rapid, and I know he is challenged with them as well. But something shifted in me after he changed classrooms last year. My perspective of "school". At every IEP meeting, or Re-eval meeting as the parents of these children we get told over and over again where they are academically, where they should be and how big the gap is between our kids and the "typical" student their age. Year after year, test after test we get these results and are supposed to digest them, accept them and move on. Which we do but I would be lying if I said they don't sting, hurt and stick around in the back of my mind until the next meeting. Then it is more of the same and it is a vicious cycle for me mentally. But this shift, I believe has helped me with navigating this because in the end I know what he is getting out of the type of class he is in is, More Life.

Yesterday I was able to join his class on a community outing to the bowling alley. This is hard for me to put into words, and I'm sure other parents here understands what I am trying to say. Most outings with our family, my husband and I are trying to play zone defense and survive. Family gatherings, when everyone is catching up, we are usally in heading in different directions. We never let Alan be alone at other places, one of us is constantly with him and honestly is for safety more then anything. He is usually handling his emotions and needs well at outings but for us, it's a saftey thing. So part of me love going on these community outings because not only do I get to see him during school hours, but someimtes it is just nice to sit back and watch interact, socialize, participate in activites without me having to be the one to facilitate it. It truly lets me be there, and enjoy all of Alan. When we were at the alley, it hit me. This class he is in is not only giving him academics, but it is giving him more life. He bowled all ten frames, he would high five another student in the class when it was his turn to go, he WORE BOWLING SHOES and he just added another life experience to his bag of life. It really made me so grateful that his class goes on community outings every Tuesday. They run the school's coffee and snack shop and bring the teachers coffee on Fridays. To me, these types of skills are of a higher importance then academics for our son. Some might totally disagree with me, but I can see the growth in him just from these experiences.

The growth yesertday was gigantic. He didn't need me anymore, not with his staff around. In years past, I would see a different Alan. He would do well but would never let me out of his eyesight or touch on school outings. This was different, he not only did many tasks without me, but he even left me at the end. He returned his bowling shoes with one of the paraprofenssionals, grabbed his bag and joined his classmates back on the bus. In past experiencs I always brought him home with me, but this time he went back to school and had a great rest of the day. These little moments are huge. He is getting more life. He is enjoying more of what life has to offer and to this Mom, that is irreplacable.

With Grace,

This Autism Mama