Have The Courage…

The medical field is always something that I will hold in very high regards. They are extremely intelligent, very knowledgeable and their goal is to help people. I wholeheartedly believe that. But it has taken me seven years on this journey to find the certain courage you need to try things off the beaten path of Autism.

Earlier today, I was reflecting on a doctor appointment Alley had earlier in the week. How I felt after, how my husband felt after and what we got out of it. And the only way I could describe it is two opposite ends of the spectrum from an appointment we had over the summer with a different doctor. Alan's team is forever growing, changing and evolving. This is something that I needed to learn how to navigate and figure out who we wanted on his team, not just to monitor him, but to actually help our child. Again, this is not everyone's experience or opinions, but this is our family and the decisions we have made to help us and our son.

So back to that appointment we had this summer. It was with Alley's Developmental Pediatrician. The one that was the founder of Alan's diagnosis and the very first member of his team. We love him, we truly do. Like I said he has been with us since day one. I always get excited to speak with him during our annual checkups. He's always very positive and upbeat which is not the easiest attribute to have. This appointment I felt differently going into it though. My husband and I had our meeting before the appointment with each other asking one another what we wanted out of it, if we had any questions for Doc etc. and honestly, we came up with nothing. We were going into the appointment with nothing. Which was fine, we were hoping to gain some new ideas from him if I am being honest. In the years past I would hang on every word he would say. Mostly because it was positive and it was nice to hear encouraging words about our son and his future as the Doctor saw it. I mean he is the professional so everything he said to us must be true right? This time though, after the appointment, I truly felt like it was a waste of our time. I felt empty, like we were no different then prior to the appointment. The information we received from him was to "keep doing what we were doing" (meaning the hollistic approach) and that it "seems to be benefiting Alan", which he was not wrong. But I still felt that he should have added something to help Alley, instead of just monitoring him. Something new, something we weren't already trying or doing. I just felt that it was an absolute pointless appointment.

Fast forward to his appointment he had earlier this past week with his hollistic doctor, which we have seen two times. I can't help but share how differently we felt leaving that appointment that night. Every time we have seen him, he does his craft with his energy testing and to me it is extremely fascinating to watch and comprehend. I was never exposed to this type of medicine growing up so it is all so foreign to me, but extremely intriguing. He carefully goes over to Alley, tries to engage with him and gain some eye contact, which he did. Alan entertained him and gave him a little wave. I appreciate his efforts to not only try and engage with our son but he is so patient and waits for Alan to process the request. Most doctors in the conventional medicine world talk over Alan, or through him almost. It's sad, really, the more I think about it. But not this Doctor. He sees Alan, even though he is not specialized or well versed in kids with Autism, he sees Alan and he is a master at his craft. I cannot say it enough. He gives Alan all the time in the world even though his door is forever moving. He listens to my husband and myself and then he makes recommendations not only to help Alan developmentally, but also help his overall health. He is so confident and wise when speaking with us about our biggest concern, verbalizations. It's just remarkable how different you can feel from one appointment to the next. I will forever be grateful for this doctor and the way he makes us feel about our Autism journey. He is simply the best and I am so relieved he is on Alley's team now.

In writing this particular blog, I am hoping that everyone along this journey knows they are not "stuck". Your team will be forever changing because your child is forever changing. Add, remove, change, do whatever you feel you need to do to your child's team to make sure your child is getting every opportunity they can have to succeed. YOU are the head coach of your child's team. YOU make the calls, not them. That was a switch we made earlier this year. We both decided that we needed more and Alan deserved more in this area. We haven't looked back since. It takes courage, a lot of it, but I know you already have it in you.

With Grace-

This Autism Mama