For YOU…

I write a lot about Alan on this blog, and Autism, and all the ugly, the hard and the beautiful. Which, I am happy to do so and share our journey with everyone who doesn't see it. But when I was talking with another Autism Mama the other day we were exchanging how hard it is to be "the strong one". After that conversation I began questioning, again "why.... why does this happen? Why do we ALWAYS have to be SO damn strong?"

I can't speak for all parents or caregivers on what they feel while walking down this path. But I can speak for myself, and it's exhausting carrying the Autism load. I am very very lucky to have the husband that I do. He couldn't be any better of a Dad to Alan, accepting Alan and loving him with every fiber of his being. But there is a certain load that I carry as well, mentally and physically that I usually do silently. It's the worrying, the daily pit in the stomach. It's the Mom brain thinking in a million directions at once not only about Alley, and Autism, and how it's going to affect our lives that day, but also about my other two boys. How is Autism going to affect them today? It is a never ending uneasiness. And that one moment where we let our guards down and are not worrying about Autism, I get a call from school or an email from his teacher that has having a rough day, and there it is again, that pit. That inexplainable pins and needles feeling that we live on. People not in the Autism world will never understand, and how could they? It's a whole experience for twenty four hours a day, seven days a week. Never ending.....

But after talking with the fellow Mama the other day, I wanted to write something for you, for me, for us.

I want you to know that YOU are doing the absolute best you can in any given situation.

I want you to know that your child is the luckiest child in the world to have YOU in their corner.

I want you to know that even if today was a hard one, YOU always have tomorrows.

I want you to know that you always have to be the strong one because YOU are capable of being the strong one.

I want you to know that we see YOU, we hear YOU, we love YOU and we celebrate YOU for being that incredible caretaker you are.

Keep going. Never settle. Always celebrate YOU.

(If I could go back in time five years ago I would give this Mama below THE biggest hug, and tell her YOU GOT THIS)

With Grace-

This Autism Mama