Calm In The Chaos

Ever since I could remember, I have thrived in chaos. The busier my life, the better I was, mentally. Whether is was running from school practice to travel practice to a game to a private lesson, we were always running. It's how I grew up, and wouldn't change one second of it.

Fast forward to my adulthood, I am the same way. When I started teaching, I was never just teaching. I was a basketball coach for the school I worked at. While I was also coaching at at the high school I still coach at, on top of coaching a travel basketball program. I was running, running, running nonstop, until I had Alley and I had to stop. Having alley has changed me to my core of a human being in many ways. As you can tell we have been very busy because I haven't written in a while.

My high school season was wrapping up and while we are in playoffs, things get exponentially crazier. But man did I thrive in this chaotic scene. Running from one thing to another. Being wherever I was needed, I loved it as I always do. But this year was different then my seasons in the past. In the last couple years, I felt like I missed my boys a lot, especially Alan. Did he miss me? Does he even notice I am gone for 5-6 hours at a time? The time away from him and the boys was hard. But this season was very different at this time and that's because we was in the stands for a lot of my games this year. The chaos of the game, the sounds of the whistles and buzzers, the clapping and yelling are anything but ideal for Alan. But having him in the stands made my season feel like such a win for our family, regardless of the outcome of our games. It became routine and Alan did very well. For being thrown into these game situations without a social story, and being able to navigate the chaos was huge for Alan and all of us. It was huge for me.

Speaking of chaos, we decided to take the boys on a whim to a "Glow Party" at the local church the boys play sports at. Now picture bounce houses, black lights, glow sticks, glow in the dark dodgeball, loud music and dancing and kids, lots and lots of kids. As a nonverbal child with sensory processing issues, this should be his worst nightmare. But, it wasn't. He did amazingly. And right now where we stand today with Alan the up and down with behaviors, I can speak for my husband and myself and say that we needed a good night out with the family. He loved the bounce houses, he was captivated by the black lights and glow in the dark sticks, even the loud and chaotic atmosphere of kids running in every direction, he handled with grace. It was such a wonderful night as a whole family, and it was BIG strides for Alan. It's funny because I would have never even attempted this type of situation with Alan AND A social story a year ago. And to just scoop him up, into the car and on our way was freeing, for everyone.

Sometimes in the chaos of situations, Alan is the clam, which to me is ironic. The way he is participating in our world while cautiously staying in his still, is calming for me.

With Grace-

This Autism Mama