Breaks Are Essential…

Summer school... something I have inner struggles with daily. Our district calls it ESY, Extended School year, but in other words it is Summer School.

Every year at Alley's annual IEP meeting, his team recommends he participate in ESY. They usually use regression for the main reason and I completely understand. It's not only regression in the academic field but also in social emotional and behaviorally that this decision is made. We always agree to it because that last thing my husband and I want for our son is regression. We (including him) have all worked so hard to get him to the point where he is at, and we would hate for our decision of not participating in ESY to affect him negatively. It's such an inner struggle because Alley absolutely deserves time off, just like every other student that goes to school.

In the past, ESY has been an easy decision. We have been consistently on board with doing what his team thinks is best for him. I was adamant on getting him to school every single day. We didn't want him to miss, ever, during the summer. However, this summer has been different. I find myself struggling every morning to wake him up, I absolutely despise it. It hurts my mama heart to wake him up from sleeping as it always as. He just looks so peaceful, calm, content and happy that the thought of disrupting that, is awful. I find myself wanting him at home more, to have an actual summer break, to be just a kid in the neighborhood playing as soon as the sun comes up and not being the only kid on the block boarding a bus. It's a struggle, but we try and do what's best for him.

Today was one of those days. The clock struck 6:30am and my stomach sank. I knew I had to go disturb him. I tried, I really tried. I gently opened his door, his shades, whispered "Alley, time to get up, you have school"... nothing just some sleepy sweet grins with his eyes closed so tightly. I tickled his face, his chin, his forehead so soft and gentle, and again just beautiful sweet sleepy grins, and eyes closed for the foreseeable future. After that I came downstairs to tell my husband to go try, and he usually will be the one to make it happen. A couple minutes go by and I still don't hear Alan's feet hitting the floor. Instead I hear my husband coming back down, solo. He looked at me and said "keep him home, he needs a break". He obviously didn't have the heart to disturb the peaceful little seven year old boy he saw either. I went back up one more time to check on him, to see if there's any movement and nothing. He was still asleep, soundly. I shut his bedroom door again becasue his brothers were awake downstairs and called the bus company to cancel pick up for today. Decision made.

I sometimes forget how he needs breaks also. He was going all weekend from one activity of his brothers to the next, throw in a water park and pool time, he needed a day, and I'm so glad we didn't push it. He slept in super late and has enjoyed spending the day in his pajamas. I, as his mother, also need to know that sometimes deviating from the "scheduled" activities for Alan is necessary for his over all well being. He can't pour from an empty cup and sometimes I need to realize just how empty it really is.

With Grace-

This Autsim Mama