A Little Dream Made...

I have written before about Alan's love of the ice rink. Recently, we have figured out that not only does he love the ice skating aspect, but he is also getting interested in the hockey part, which is something I never anticipated coming. All the motor movements with possible sensory overlaod going on is something I didn't think he would enjoy.

He has watched his cousin play, and we always thought that he liked it, but never to the extent that I saw this weekend. At the rink where my nephew plays they had an event for kids who wanted to try hockey for a day. Immediately I signed up Vinny and Joey. They have been wanting to try hockey but between their other sports we haven't found the time other then ice skating when we take Alan for his lessons. So I signed the two boys up a couple weeks ago, and I didn't sign Alan up. Looking back, shame on me. Shame on me for not thinking to sign him up. In my head, I just went to the negative thoughts of "it's not for speical needs kids," and "it would be overwhleming for Alan" or "I don't want it to be a bad experience and then turn him off from skating forever". These were all the thoughts that were in my head at the time of signing the other two boys up, and it was not right. I was completely wrong. It wasn't until my Dad said to me "Did you sign Alan up too?" I told him no, and the reasons that I thought of for not signing him up and he said to me, "You can't make that kid go to an ice rink and expect him to sit and there and not skate. He loves skating!" He was absolutely right. How could I even think of doing that to him? Again, shame on me and I sometimes let the fear of what could go wrong get in the way of what can go right.

I, of course, then signed him up seperately. Looking at the sign up there was no spot for additional information where I could explain to the rink a little about Alan. Which made me extremely nervous, but my husband calmed my worry and just said we can talk to someone that day when we get there. Before I knew it, the day was here. It was a busy morning, the two boys had baseball practice before we had to leave for the hockey event, which made it a pretty chaotic morning. When Alan woke up, he came downstairs like he always does. I was hugging him, telling him good morning like usual and then I said "Alan, today is hockey day! We are going to have you play hockey at the rink with your cousins and brothers." I watched his face, as the information sank in, and I will never forget the HUGE smile that crept across his lips. He looked at me, with lit up eyes and a grin that melts me to mush, and just held my gaze for a good 2 minutes like that with his hands on my shoulders. Right then and there I knew I made a good decision by including him in this event. I knew we would be pushing it time wise, and I was afraid I wouldn't be able to grab any of the event staff to brief them on Alan. Luckily, my sister was there early from a previous skating session so I texted her, asking if she could inform the staff about Alan and the accommodations we would want for him. Of course, she did it for us, and again I could breathe a tiny bit easier. Before we knew it, the boys and my husband were back home. I got Alan and the baby ready and we were off to the rink!

Usually I write him a social story about what to expect, how we expect him to behave and just visual reminders for him when going to do something new. I did not do it this time, but he knew exactly what to do and what we expected. We arrived at the rink and Alan showed extreme patience as we gathered the whole family and walked in. The event was chaotic, immediately my heart started racing, I began scanning the room, thinking about where to go to get him ready, looking for our family's familiar faces and my heart was in my throat. We found my sister and her family, and parked it by them. I went to the desk to check the boys in and grab the pads, helmet and sticks they would need. Grabbing everything my mind immediately when to the negative thoughts. This is too much, he won't wear all of this, the list goes on and on. Again, I was wrong, couldn't be more wrong. He put everything on like a champ, followed directions and was ready to get out there. When I say that I don't think I could have been any more proud of my guy then I was that day, I really mean it. The way he navigated a "typical" event with such courage and grace, brought tears to my eyes. He worked so hard skating through the chaotic kid filled ice rink. He navigated himself through barriers and tools the coaches had on the ice without skipping a beat. He listened and didn't get frustrated when his Dad, who was following him around on the ice, would redirect him to certain areas. It was magical. He took a break half way through, ate a hot pretzel (which makes me cringe because of the gluten he is not supposed to be having) but it was his day and I wasn't going to stand in the way of making this experience anything other then memorable for him. After his pretzel break, he went and put his skate back on. He then went right out on the ice, even without his Dad. My husband couldn't move fast enough for him. His independance was flourishing and I was beaming.

It was simply amazing. I cannot say it enough, try it. Try it at least once and if it is an epic fail then it's just that and move on. I have spoken to a lot of other parents about trying things and it always comes down to the same thing, the events don't have the proper accomodations for our kids, and I get that. But honestly, when we want to try an event that is an event that may not be specified for special needs children, we make our own accommodations and it usually works out in our favor. It's simple if they dont have the "staff" for our son, we will provide our own "staff" and make his dreams come true. I am so happy that my Dad talked some sense into me, and I did not let my fear, worry and doubt get in the way of Alan having the best day ever.

With grace,

This Autism Mama